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Burned Monster Meat with Goblin Goo Recipe

Or  for the adults, Blackened Chicken with Honey Mustard Dipping Sauce

The Halloween fun continues.  This one is actually an original, because I completely screwed up trying to make something completely different.  Still I have to say that I can’t complain at all.  Tell a bunch of kids that they’re eating Burned Monster Meat with Goblin Goo and you’ll probably wish it were true.  I went through a  pound of these between one two year old and my wife in less than 20 minutes, so imagine what a room full of kids could do to them!  (Portion control, people!)

The unique texture and burned look of these is due to a heavy egg wash, which splits the breading when it expands in hot oil and heavy amounts of paprika in the breading. (The American kind, you know, flavorless, spiceless, mass produced and very cheap?) The paprika will blacken almost immediately, making for a very “straight from the burning building” look.  And with nearly neon green sauce, it’s definitely one of the less appetizing looking things I’ve ever made.

The kids should love it!


Burned Monster Meat with Goblin Goo Recipe
Yield: 4 servings

Burned Monster Meat with Goblin Goo Recipe

Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes


  • Approximately 1 lb chicken, cut in very irregular shapes
  • 1/2 cup all purpose flour
  • 2 to 3 eggs, beaten
  • 1 cup plain breadcrumbs
  • 1/8 cup paprika
  • 2 tbsp season salt
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • Honey mustard Dressing
  • 3 drops green food coloring
  • vegetable oil for frying


    For the Chicken:

    1. Preheat oven to 300°F and heat oil to 360°F in a deep fryer, wok or pan (Oil should never be more than 1/2 way up the sides of the vessel)
    2. Mix paprika and season all into breadcrumbs, making sure that all ingredients are combined well
    3. Cut chicken into irregular pieces. None should be the same size or shape.
    4. Place flour, eggs and breadcrumbs in bowls. Dredge chicken in flour, then very thickly in eggs and dredge in breadcrumbs. (The heavy coating of egg is important!) Place on a parchment covered cookie sheet or flexible cutting board while the rest of the chicken is breaded.
    5. Fry chicken in small batches until crust is blackened and has split in several places on each piece. (That’s what the thick egg wash was for). The Paprika will blacken very quickly, so don’t walk away!) remove from oil and place on a clean parchment lined cookie sheet. Repeat process for all chicken pieces.
    6. Place chicken in oven for approximately 15 minutes to ensure that all pieces are cooked through. Assure that they are by checking to be sure that the largest piece is no longer translucent and any juices run clear when it is broken in half.

    For the Goblin Goo…

    1. Mix 2 to 3 drops green food coloring with 1cup Honey mustard Salad Dressing. Mix well for an alien green consistency or slightly less well for a very sickly looking concoction.
    2. Serve to your little ghouls and watch the carnage!

    Nutrition Information:



    Serving Size:


    Amount Per Serving: Calories: 541Total Fat: 27gSaturated Fat: 6gTrans Fat: 0gUnsaturated Fat: 18gCholesterol: 248mgSodium: 3934mgCarbohydrates: 35gFiber: 3gSugar: 3gProtein: 38g

    What I would have done differently had I thought of it at the time:

    I used way too much season all on the test batch (recipe is corrected), so watch the amounts or it will get very salty.  Aside from that, these met with approval from both my wife and Lil’ B. so all is good, it seems.

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